Finally Coming Together

Summer is almost over and I'll be leaving for China in less than a month. It seems absolutely crazy that's August is practically here. I spent my summer worrying about a paper and money and enjoying it only a day a week- what a waste! At any rate I'm finally getting that paper done. I have the outline done I just need to read through my last book source and gather some quotes and key points and then I'll be able to write. I had planned on doing that here at Starbucks but the internet is looming and too big a distraction so I think I'll go to the public library and write. Maybe I can find my last source there since I couldn't find another at the school library.
It's raining. Of course it's raining! Just when I get my discipline in order life throws a curve ball.
Well anyway I had a great revelation with my therapist. Basically I should have remained an English major. I actually started out as a creative writing major because I wanted to be a novelist but then the school I was accepted at only had English so I became an English major. I was planning on focusing on that when people began to tell me that I couldn't be a novelist. Or rather just a novelist. I needed a "real" job because apparently you can't make a living as a novelist unless you're J.K. Rowling. So that became my focus which has been very difficult to focus on when I always have my stories looming in my head. She and I decided that I should finish college and then pursue that passion since it is, in fact, my passion. Funny how it took four/five years of therapy to be able to admit that my passion is something that I can't make a living out of.... believe it or not that right there was really hard. It's always seemed naive to say "I want to be a novelist" because it's one of the arts. Kinda like admitting I was interested in acting. Stacey has far more confidence in herself than I ever will. That interest has passed for me however; I know I need routine in order to function at my best and acting doesn't provide that. Writing, however, I can make routine.
At any rate, that was the big thing in therapy yesterday, which I haven't been in for a while.
Now it's stopped raining and I should get to writing that paper.